Down and out at recess

I am glad that school is back in session here in the city because I walk my dog past a huge black-top playground every day. During the summer it is boring because no one is there. During the school year, the kids are at recess. I walk very slowly and watch the way they play and how the social groups work out. You can tell the 8 year olds who have discovered flirting, the girls who form twosome fortresses based on whispering and secrets, and then the kids who don't really fit in.

Yesterday there were maybe 100 or 125 kids out, most of them looked like 2nd or 3rd graders. Everyone seemed to be doing ok except for one boy with a ruddy face and a black t-shirt. He was standing in the middle of the black top alone, amid lots of smaller groups rushing around him. He looked sort of aimless, but not bothered by it exactly. Actually, he looked like he was having a conversation in his head. It was too much for me though, and as I was thinking, "please for the love of god, find someone to play with" he leaned to the left and then began to dash away in a sort of aimless jog. I thought he spotted some buddies, but then he stopped and milled around some more. Then he did the same thing heading back to the right. Some other boys ran past on either side and brushed against him.

This went on for awhile and it was too much. Awkward kids who don't have anyone to play with at recess just kill me. I wasn't exactly that kid, but all the same, I was deeply thankful that I am not 8 anymore. Even though I have crow's feet or whatever, I did not like being a kid and I would never, ever wish for even the best moments again.

Then later in the shower I was thinking about when you're small, and you're in a swimming pool, and you realize how amazing it is that water makes you weightless. And even though you weigh 40 pounds you can carry your dad around like it's nothing. Then I remembered how you learn fantastic things like that every day. Dang.